Epiphany

Ok, we have a problem on our hands: the half-niphxs has escaped.
This is a more problem for me, since it was only going to eat you anyway, but it's a problem nonetheless. However, I have a solution: we allow to run loose and kill all of humanity.
This may seem like me just not being able to think of an actual solution, but I promise you that by the time you realise this, it will have eaten half of your innards.
Let the genocide begin.

Mwah! Mwah!

I am slowly de-ageing my minions: why, you ask (oh, yes you do!). Well, this essentially means that I will have to be an acting adult for them in all respects, effectively giving me their identities! It's foolproof!
No, but why slowly, you ask (yes, you bloody well do).
Well...ummm....This interview is over.

*Throws willow-tree shaped heart*
*I mean moon-shaped zoo*
*I mean...oh screw it*

Tell them how I am ampli-fying gravity!

My hench-reapers inform me that everyone still belives the world is round. Therefore, I'm going to increase gravity tenfold, causing this planet to collapse in on itself, turning it into little more than a pancake.
Suck on that!

Karaoke time!

I can think of nothing more christmassy than the sound of strangled cats, so bring up youtube, get your favourite song up, plug in your headphones and give all those around you tinnitus!
Repeat until defrenetated.