Proving a point is the only real reason to marry someone.

The four of the fantastic have washed up on the shores of the edge of the world, dead.
For four seconds before they stopped existing again.
I didn't want to do this, but they've left me no choice, damn it!!
Sammy and Lusa...are getting married!
We're going to show the I.D.E.S. that we're not afraid with a shotgun marriage on wednesday.
Now, go buys lotsa toasters- not only for the wedding but for toastology day!! (Still a year away)

Cream comes in cans now (Or EIGHT DAYS!!!)

Since I could now open a can of cream and it wouldn't go stale before the witch's rulership over me came crashing down over her horribly big ears, I'm going to do just that.
Only, with a can of worms.
And it will probably will get very stale.
And I'll only wait seven days before moving on.
Huh, actually, this is really related to that in any way.
Who knew?

Four of the fantastic

I've decided to hire mercenaries to kill the I.D.E.S.; they're known as the four of the fantastic and their bodies closely resemble the heaviest elements in the periodic table- bascially, they disappiate after four seconds and some don't believe in them.
I'll get those bigots yet!

When you gaze into the abyss

The ides are getting better: I lost a whole hour of my life on saturday- they must be using some sort of telepathic attack.
Fools! Do they not realise that eating away at my thoughts makes them what they claim to hate the most? Mindflayers!

Dr. Carrot and the sorcerer's apprentice

One of the witch's minions tried to persuade to stay in service yesterday.
I responded by feeding her to Dr. Carrot.
Let this be a lesson to you all: Make. More. Advice.

Beware the ides of March

We have figured out who the perpetrator of monday's heinous crime was:
the Indecent Dopey Evolutionary-dead-ends Stupid Orangutans For Mind-flayer Aversion and Really Cruel Hate-crimes! Otherwise known as the I.D.E.S. O.F. M.A.R.C.H.!
A Mind-flayer protest group. Beware them! We must wipe out their bigotry and kill them all!
Death to the ides of March!

Unseen enemy

Someone has been stealing my posts! I know I put one up on monday: this means that the enemy has managed to infiltrate the base and take the post down.
This is possibly the biggest threat we've ever faced people!
Man the stations!
Ready the fire hoses!
And...Prepare the puppets!
THIS. MEANS. WAR.