Apparel

I've been wondering: can I call a main character Dead? No, really, I mean his name would be 'Dead', like
"Hi, Dead."
"How's the wife, Dead?"
"I can't be I'm a virgin, Dead."
I think the problem would be with threats:
"One wrong move and you're dead."

Helpful doors...

Is a trap-door still a trap-door if you're deliberately using it? 'Cause y'know then it's not a trap so much as a useful means of transporting one's self. So really it should be called a helpful door if someone uses it for anything other than catching others' unaware.
Support proper vocabulary!