We have figured out who the perpetrator of monday's heinous crime was:
the Indecent Dopey Evolutionary-dead-ends Stupid Orangutans For Mind-flayer Aversion and Really Cruel Hate-crimes! Otherwise known as the I.D.E.S. O.F. M.A.R.C.H.!
A Mind-flayer protest group. Beware them! We must wipe out their bigotry and kill them all!
Death to the ides of March!
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