The fantastic virilescence of Victor the Fabulous

Ok, I know you've all been waiting on tenderhooks for this: the first benny post!!!!
...
♥-shaped grenades?
Oh well, here's how he shaping up (note: the days are completely falsified. I have no ideas when i actually started meauring him, and I haven't done it at regular intervals.)


DAY
BENNY-OSITY (IN CENTIMETRES)
1
6.8
3
14.5
7
21
8
32.8
12
36
17
51

He's gonna grow up to be big and strong. And then wither and die at the first frost of winter. Man, I ♥(shaped grenades) nature.

Cheap, last minute substitute

Yo, I'm gonna post now because by the time i get back it's gonna be too late. I'm going to London tomorrow: we're going to see a play, the Lion King musical, the terrocotta army and lots of other junk. When I've returned you can expect a Benny/Victor update- you see the thing is, he's gone to this farm where he can eat all the cookies he wants and have lots and lots of fun. But you can't visit. Because it's the rules. No, he's not dead. He's not *breaks down crying* HE'S NOT!
He's actually not. Ha! Bet you didn't see that coming!

Something random for thursday afternoon...

Eek!

Cutting it a little close here: it's technically been more than seven days since I last updated but I don't care. Screw you guys.
I'm going home.
Yes, that is all the post you're getting.
Ha-ha!

THE TRUTH ABOUT THE COMICS INDUSTRY!!

One week of ♥

Today, we celebrate our one-week-ersary here at Bear Taboo. And by we I mean Me, Myself and that guy who keeps telling me to dance. As a special celebration, I'm going to start three on-going jokes. These will be:

• heart shaped grenades
• chester zoo
• the moon.

Whoo: first use of bullet points in a blog! What a landmark!

Me, gone all serious. Funny how that's an anagram of I are so sullen Emo...G.

I really wonder how much longer it will be before there's a shoot-out between me and Uminus (my best friend), 'cause there's gonna be one. I probably should set my affirs in order, as Uminus has incredibly good aim and does not go down easily. The sad thing is that Lumpy and Mussolini will almost definitely be on his side. Well, Mussolini will probably just not be on my side, as she doesn't want to get metaphorical blood on her. This really upsets me, not the Mussolini being non-confrontational, the Uminus and me being on opposite sides, 'cause we were once almost inseperable. But, people change, and now there's so much friction between us lightning shoots off our skin in hot weather. Of course, me and Uminus don't talk about this, because you don't. You avoid the subject at all costs and let yourself drown in awkwards silences. Ach well, there's only one more year: then we'll go our different ways (him on the high road, no doubt) and never lay eyes on each other again. It's odd, how things go round. At one point I wished Uminus would just leave me alone, now when he does I hate him for it. That's most likely why he does it.
Ho-hum.
Ho-hum indeed.

Introducing Benny, or Victor the Fabulous as he is known in latin!

Pinch punch second of the month and no returns. Now that the pleasantries are done with, let's get down to business: I was just in Biolology and have been given the task of putting a broad bean seed- who we shall call benny- into water then planting it and recording its growth. Now, I know you'll all be on tenterhooks to see how li'l Benny makes it in the big wide world, so I'll put the actual recordings of his growth on this website! How lucky are you, faithful readers (yes I do mean both of you)! This new feature will be called The fantastic virilescence of Victor the Fabulous!