Stop opressing me!!

Some have complained that this blog is sense-phobic.

And so we set Sammy on them. I believe their last words were 'aaiiuhhhghhbbbb....'.
(Better than what came out before! Suh-wish!)

The title says it all

It does indeed. It does indeed.

Abandon ship!!

We're under attack- the slippers are rising up against us! I managed to fight off two using my firehose, which I keep for just such an occasion, but there'll be more. Don't underestimate them- soon we'll all be kissing their feet, after years of them kissing ours!

Give back my brain

Well, my position as a teacher of the Death seems to have earnt Bear Taboo educational status, allowing it to be shown at schools, workplaces and Oil rigs (by the way, any oil rig based fans, any possibility of freebies? I mean, one of those giant drills could be very useful- I've been wanting to brush up my dentistry.).
Of course, this means we have to be more ethnically diverse, and so we'll be introducing a new token character to the staff- Sammy the Mindflayer! I want you all to make him feel welcome by offering up your grey matter to him as a nutricious snack. Any volunteers?

Ding dong

As we all know, the Wicked Witch of the west and Darth Vader are one and the same. This presents a conundrum as to how the witch escaped her watery grave. Obviously, there is some form of wormhole inside the witch's castle, leading to outer-space. I propose we storm said castle and find aforementioned wormhole. Just think, the B'Taboo party in control of a death star- voting would be even more mandatory. Tyranny is just a good-ol'-fashioned castle-pillagin' away, people.
The future is here and its name is Oz.

Fake escape route

I've decided that Bear Taboo needs an edge over other political parties-and so I've placed a vicious monster, half-man, half-niphxs in the heart of it.
Run, you fools, run! Try and escape before it devours your ability to vote for other candidates!!!

A pinch of salt

I, unlike some I could mention *cough*DeadMcNarwhal*cough*, plan for the future.
I keep a firehose in every room of my house- you should do the same.
Though it won't keep off my undead armies, it will save you from the salt monster that is definitely going to form according to the government. If you keep more than 6 grams of salt in your house at any one time, you'd better watch out- Dead didn't, and now he's Dead.
Think about that.

Teacher of the death

It appears I'm now a rolemodel for grim reapers. As such, total and utter obedience will be more important than ever.
Also, you're all relieved of your knowledge-killing duties- go fall off the edge of the world or summat.
Peace out!
Literally!

I before E

Since I seem to be forgetting my alphabet, Bear Taboo will now be written entirely in gibberish.
Not that that will make much difference!
Suh-wish!
...wait.

A million ways

So, I think we all know what today is: Ice Cream day. When we eat all the stuff left over in the freezer, in preparation for lots of buying this year.
But, there's so many choices- what should your Ice Cream resolution be? Should you eat that with that or this with this? There are a million ways to go.
But never fear- B'Taboo has a cheap, last-minute solution: only eat the stuff you want, and leave the rest for the person with such a bad hangover that they can't see what they're eating.
(B'Taboo tip: add a little extra something like hot sauce, lemon jelly or hedgehog spikes to make the meal all the more entertaining to watch.)

Also, pinch punch first of the month, no returns. And, a flick on the ear, happy new year and no returns.