The stars predict a time of prodiguous fear: people will rip out their own eyes to block the images, hearts will stop from sheer terror and cows will sleep...sitting down.
And the cause of this? None other than...Uminus' face.
29 February 2008
25 February 2008
Epiphany
Ok, we have a problem on our hands: the half-niphxs has escaped.
This is a more problem for me, since it was only going to eat you anyway, but it's a problem nonetheless. However, I have a solution: we allow to run loose and kill all of humanity.
This may seem like me just not being able to think of an actual solution, but I promise you that by the time you realise this, it will have eaten half of your innards.
Let the genocide begin.
This is a more problem for me, since it was only going to eat you anyway, but it's a problem nonetheless. However, I have a solution: we allow to run loose and kill all of humanity.
This may seem like me just not being able to think of an actual solution, but I promise you that by the time you realise this, it will have eaten half of your innards.
Let the genocide begin.
22 February 2008
21 February 2008
Mwah! Mwah!
I am slowly de-ageing my minions: why, you ask (oh, yes you do!). Well, this essentially means that I will have to be an acting adult for them in all respects, effectively giving me their identities! It's foolproof!
No, but why slowly, you ask (yes, you bloody well do).
Well...ummm....This interview is over.
*Throws willow-tree shaped heart*
*I mean moon-shaped zoo*
*I mean...oh screw it*
No, but why slowly, you ask (yes, you bloody well do).
Well...ummm....This interview is over.
*Throws willow-tree shaped heart*
*I mean moon-shaped zoo*
*I mean...oh screw it*
15 February 2008
Tell them how I am ampli-fying gravity!
My hench-reapers inform me that everyone still belives the world is round. Therefore, I'm going to increase gravity tenfold, causing this planet to collapse in on itself, turning it into little more than a pancake.
Suck on that!
Suck on that!
8 February 2008
Magic tricks
As you can see, I have nothing up my sleeves, and nothing in this willow tree. But, if you would just look in the moon you will find...
...a ♥-shaped grenade!! See ya later, sucker!!
*BOOOM!!*
...a ♥-shaped grenade!! See ya later, sucker!!
*BOOOM!!*
6 February 2008
An excuse of fantasytic porportions
To: Mr. McNarwhal,
I am very sorry I cannot attend the maths challenge today, because my sister has been poisoned by a vicious queen, jealous of her beauty. On top of this, my father’s nose has begun to grow whenever he lies, and he has stabbed my mother’s eye out with it. My mother, angry locked my other sister away in a tower- she has begun to grow her hair as a result. I must therefore seek out the magic ring which will open the chamber of secrets beneath the shoe that old mother Hubbard uses for a house, so I can find the voice of the little mermaid, give it to the big bad wolf who will blow down the tower, bite off my father’s nose and give my first sister true love’s first kiss, changing into Prince Charming in the process.
Sorry,
Uncle (Grimm) Polar
I am very sorry I cannot attend the maths challenge today, because my sister has been poisoned by a vicious queen, jealous of her beauty. On top of this, my father’s nose has begun to grow whenever he lies, and he has stabbed my mother’s eye out with it. My mother, angry locked my other sister away in a tower- she has begun to grow her hair as a result. I must therefore seek out the magic ring which will open the chamber of secrets beneath the shoe that old mother Hubbard uses for a house, so I can find the voice of the little mermaid, give it to the big bad wolf who will blow down the tower, bite off my father’s nose and give my first sister true love’s first kiss, changing into Prince Charming in the process.
Sorry,
Uncle (Grimm) Polar
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